6 Comments 15 February 2017

How to talk about love without making it Camembert?

All the love songs to choose from (I make playlists, so does he), all the poetry ever written across the globe (I send lines to him, he sends lines to me), all the holiday photos to resend (with ‘remember this?’), all the movies to share (reaching out in the dark to hold hands at the moment a character says something that is Just What You Feel)…

But our own words?

How to reach past all the stacks of things collected over the years to the very back of the soul and find the words that show how intense, how powerful, how tectonic that other person makes you feel? Even through anything? This place of pure love sits so deep inside that it is far beyond all the stacks of selfishness, of self-interest, of games. It is in the place of giving. And giving totally is scary. To get that deep you have to risk seeing all the other things (the fear, the triggers, the reasons). You have to open up the most vulnerable part of you to show them the most intense part of you.

But that seems like a very deep love indeed. Surely love is love, no matter how deep or shallow, how old or new? Nope. It’s not all the same. My love is something that has grown roots around every cell, taking nourishment from my blood, feeding my cells with its breath in return, becoming part of me, changing the shape of me.

I mean love that comes over time, like a prairie of wildflowers, formed over a billion years, layering pretty shells and dead fish and swaying seaweed and shark teeth and asteroids exploding the water and storms dropping dust from thousands of miles away and heaving from the very core of the planet changing the shape of the land and seams of silver streaking through strata and glaciers pushing boulders carving across the horizon and animals hunting and blood spilling and early men building huts and digging fire pits and more storms and more soil from other lands and finally, layers and layers and layers later, a prairie grows across the landscape and grasses push roots deep, deep into the old earth and wildflowers rise and sway and the storms still blow and the sun still warms and the wildflowers still sway, enduring.

That kind of love.

How do you talk about that?

Usually I just hold him close when I’m thinking like that and he knows.

Your Comments

6 Comments so far

  1. Koos says:

    Giving is totally scary. But it is also joy. Like the sunrise over the fields or the pattern of the clouds as the sun begins to set. Like the sound of your breath as we close our eyes at the end of the day. Like the warmth of your touch, matched only by the warmth of your smile.
    The joy is the giving, in knowledge that you are happy to do this come what may, now and forever. I have this joy and I am lucky to share it with you.

  2. Koos says:

    Shouting from the Treetops…
    Love for you is walking in the sunshine, without care and without fear. A celebration, like fireworks in a summer sky, a delight.
    I have grown to know you and see you and from my perspective, the view is perfect. This love is profound and bountiful and in realising this, I am humbled and awestruck. I am grateful to share it with you, my best friend and my love. xxx

  3. Michelle says:

    Thank you my love. Shout away! Just as you have said the me, you are the Love Of My Life, LOML, and here’s why:

    Everyday bravery! (I feel a new post forming.) Longterm rewards.

    A love over a lifetime is audacious (I love that), and beautiful, enduring through all the calm and chaos. Bad things draw us together rather than wedge us apart. The more we know about each other, the more we see. The more we see, and still love, the more we love! The things we have shared over the years, the inside jokes, the secrets, the special memories with family, friends and just us (and pets!) are all strengthening, nurturing that audacity.


    I hope this is something everyone can learn. Everyone! What a wonderful world it would be if everyone could learn this. Live a good life: walk in the sun, endure the clouds, know that over time and with commitment to truly seeing the other you can have a profound love.


  4. Becky says:

    How very lovely x

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